5 Tips for Preventing Problem Behavior
What parent wouldn’t want to prevent their child’s problem behavior? Right???? We have way more control in the preventative side of the equation than in responding after behavior has already occurred. So, Prevention is key! Now, unfortunately I don’t have a magic wand to help you completely eliminate all behaviors. But, I’m going to share 5 tips to implement to reduce the chances of problem behavior occurring.
1) Identify when problem behavior is most likely to occur.
Start by picking specific behaviors that your child engages in and start to think about when they are most likely to occur. You want to get super specific here. For example, do they throw their plate on the floor whenever they are done eating? Cry when it’s time to leave the pool? Hit their brother when they want the toy? We have to get specific and narrow down problem which problem behavior we want to address. It’s easy to want to work on everything at once but that approach leads to confusion and inconsistency. Pick the ONE thing that is most disruptive at home.
2) Predictable Expectations
Now, that you have identified a behavior to work on, you want to teach a predictable expectation. Teaching isn’t telling. And, trust me I’ve fallen into this trap myself. It doesn’t count if you say one time “I told him to clean up” or “don’t hit your brother.” These are directions not expectations. Expectations are non-negotiable rules of our house. They usually center around themes like safety, respect, and responsibility. But, they are much more specific. Here are some examples:
We use kind words.
If you take it out you are responsible for putting it away.
Keep your hands and feet to yourself.
These expectations should be so ingrained that it becomes the way you do business in your family. The expectation is there for all family members and it’s referred to often. If you pick and choose when to make it an expectation it will lose it’s power. Take the behavior that you identified and determine the corresponding expectation for that behavior. If you haven’t taught it in this format then this is going to be your first step. Take a minute a write down the behavior and expectation.
3) Consistent Routines
Regular routines alleviate stress and anxiety because they increase predictability. The goal is to create habits that kids don’t have to think about because they just know what they are supposed to do. Many times problem behavior happens during times that are unpredictable or unstructured. So, if the behavior you picked always occurs when your trying to get out the door, when your trying to get your kid to sleep, or when they are asked to do something than you probably need a routine during that time. Just like expectations, routines have to be consistent and you will have to put the work in upfront to teach them. So, think about the steps of the routine (what do you want your child to do), create a visual such as simple pictures or checklists, and post it somewhere obvious. Introduce the visual to your child and tell them and explain that visuals help everyone but reminding us what we need to do. Use the visual every time your child is working on that routine. At the beginning, you will need to walk them through it… sometimes step by step. As it becomes a habit, then you can back off on the support you need to give.
4) Reinforcement of desirable behavior
Okay, this is a biggie! We need to give kids a “paycheck” for demonstrating positive behavior. The behavioral term is positive reinforcement which simply means we do something after a behavior occurs that increases the chance that behavior will occur again. Reinforcement can be tangible like food, drink, activities, or toys. Or can be things like verbal praise, fist bumps, or given special privileges. The key whenever you are trying to change behavior is to pour it on at the beginning so this is when the child is working the hardest then decrease or fade as the new behavior takes the place of the old behavior. You may have to experiment for a bit as to what will be motivating for your child.
5) Systematic Consequences for problem behavior
Since I already told you there was no magic wand for this, you know that Inevitably problem behavior will occur. So, you need to pre-think systematic and consistent consequences for the behavior. Consequences work best when they are proportionate to the situation and when you can tie in some naturally occurring consequences. Maybe it’s not going back to the pool for a few days after a tantrum. Or, having to clean up something extra for making a mess during a tantrum. Losing time for preferred activities is another big one. Whatever you decide, make sure you are consistent with follow through. The idea of consequences is that we want to decrease the chance of the behavior occurring in the future. Consequences are important but usually are not enough by themselves to sustain lasting behavior change.
So, that’s it! The 5 tips to prevent problem behavior. This is where you “rinse and repeat” the process because behavior change is a marathon and not a sprint. Plan that it will take 4-8 weeks to see any real change with these strategies. But, if you stick with them, I promise you will make a huge impact on your child’s behavior.
Leave a comment below about your biggest behavioral challenge. Or, schedule a complimentary call so we can talk about your individual situation.
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